Do you remember Mortal Monday? I was working at a Software Etc. the day Mortal Kombat hit retail, and there was enormous line an hour before the mall opened.

Unlike Street Fighter II, which launched only on Super Nintendo, Mortal Kombat came out on Super Nintendo, Genesis, Game Gear, and Game Boy. Overall, the Genesis version was the best, with snappy controls and a code that unlocked the arcade game’s fatalities. The Super Nintendo version looked the sharpest, with graphics that closely matched the arcade version.

But what about the handheld versions?

Both are terrible. Game Boy is a muddy mess of pea green pixels, and it’s censored, to boot.

Game Gear brings the bright red blood (with a code). Character models look surprisingly good. But this game has to be running somewhere around 15fps. It’s a slideshow.

There are odd compromises on Game Gear – you only get two stages to play on (the pit and Goro’s lair). There is no multiplayer support. Kano has been dropped from the roster.

All of this could be tolerated if the controls worked… but I found it impossible to consistently pull off special moves (never mind fatalities, which I could never do once). You’ll quickly find yourself shifting focus to uppercuts and leg swipes, hoping you don’t have to block (since block is awkwardly placed on the start button).

Ultimately, Mortal Kombat feels more like a licensed toy than a good faith adaptation of the arcade game. Whoever got this cartridge on day one had a terrible Mortal Monday.